By Robert Scucci
| Published
Once again, Rotten Tomatoes has led me astray and kept me away from Nicolas Cage’s Season of the Witch – the dark, supernatural action-adventure fantasy film set during the Smyrniote crusades – and deprived me of one of our finest actor’s better films during the time he was mostly putting out direct-to-video content. While this film is not Cage’s finest hour (still waiting for National Treasure 3 over here), it’s in no way deserving of the abysmal 11 percent critical score that it currently has on the popular review aggregator.
My ego has also been inflated to the point of no return after watching Season of the Witch because my theory has been proven correct once again: if you watch enough (allegedly) terrible movies, you sometimes strike gold in the form of a fun film with breakneck pacing, frenetic action sequences, and snappy dialogue.
Will Season of the Witch be remembered as one of the greatest films of our time? Absolutely not. But it’s one of those rainy Sunday afternoon movies on streaming that definitely deserves 95 minutes of your time.
A Witchy Good Time
Season of the Witch is carried by Sir Behmen von Bleibruck (Nicolas Cage) and Sir Felson (Ron Perlman), two knights who have seen their share of slaughter during their tenure with the Smyrniote crusades of the 14th century. Becoming disgusted with their large-scale acts of violence in the name of God against all non-believers (including innocent women and children), Behmen and Felson decided to desert their mission and walk away from the violence that defined most of their adult lives. Behmen and Felson are eventually outed as deserters while traveling through a plague-infested Styria, and a sickly Cardinal D’ambroise (Christopher Lee) tasks them with a mission to transport an alleged witch named Anna (Claire Foy) to a group of monks in a far off monastery to be given a fair trial.
Refusing the mission means imprisonment and eventual death by hanging or burning (Felson would prefer a swift hanging if he’s given the luxury of choosing how he dies), but the two knights will receive a full pardon if they agree to traverse the dark forest and make good on the delivery.
Joined by Priest Debelzaq (Stephen Campbell Moore), the Cardinal’s head guard Johann (Ulrich Thomsen), a map expert and swindler named Hagamar (Stephen Graham), and an alter boy with knightly aspirations known as Kay von Wollenbart (Robert Sheehan), Behmen and Felson set out to find the monastery. Cardinal D’ambroise thinks that Anna is responsible for the Black Death running rampant through Europe in Season of the Witch, and he has reason to believe that the monastery holds the key to stopping the plague dead in its tracks.
Buddy Cop Banter For Days
Having a bit of an identity crisis, Season of the Witch plays out like a buddy cop movie more so than an epic fantasy adventure film. Behmen and Felson aren’t just begrudgingly going through the motions like you would think, but seem to be having the time of their lives while traversing the treacherous wilderness and transporting Anna to her trial and possible execution. Having been war buddies during the epic battle montages found at the front of the film, they’re both so desensitized by violence to the point where they crack jokes like old college roommates on stag night.
While they take their mission seriously, they definitely whistle while they work to break up the drudgery, giving this film a level of charm that I wasn’t expecting.
Season of the Witch sets up this dynamic between Behmen and Felson right off the rip during the opening, shock-cut battle sequences that remind me of the warpath found in the Wolfgang Petersen-directed and Brad Pitt-starring Troy. Before charging down the hills to execute hundreds of men by sword, Behmen and Felson first debate who will be the hero of the day, and who will be buying rounds of beer and mead after a battle well fought. Against the bleak subject matter that’s found in the heart of Season of the Witch, I appreciate how much its sense of humor breaks the tension when things start to get serious.
Don’t Let The Cynical Critics Fool You
At the end of the day, all I want out of my media consumption is to be entertained, and Season of the Witch checks off all the boxes on my “beam it into my eyeballs” Bingo card. Between the epic battles, witchy wolves wandering through the dark forest, and the endless chemistry between Cage and Perlman, you’d be hard-pressed to find a film about the black plague that’s as entertaining as this one.
If you don’t believe me, then consider this:
1980’s Xanadu currently has a 31 percent critical score on Rotten Tomatoes, which is a significantly higher score than Season of the Witch. At least the latter title actually has some semblance of a plot, and not a single instance of roller-disco song and dance routines in the place of storytelling. Sure, Season of the Witch has a disappointing lack of Kublai Khan’s pleasure dome, but I’m willing to stick my neck out and say that this is probably for the better.
As of this writing, you can stream Season of the Witch for free on Tubi
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