This Slasher Rom-Com Isn’t Scary, But It Is Stylish And Sweet

Slasher movies seem to be having a revival these days, provided they have a neat little hook that adds some flare to the subgenre. This new wave of slashers aren’t just slasher movies — they’re slasher movies with a twist. Enter “Heart Eyes,” a new flick that asks, “What if a slasher movie was also a rom-com?” To add some fuel to the fire, “Heart Eyes” also fits into the “holiday horror” sub-genre — while Christmas seems to reign supreme here (even more so than Halloween, oddly enough), there are plenty of other holidays on the calendar to turn into days of mass murder. “Heart Eyes” uses Valentine’s Day as its backdrop, joining the likes of the two “My Bloody Valentine” films and the somewhat forgotten 2001 slasher “Valentine.” 

As a plus, “Heart Eyes” has some talented people at the helm: it hails from indie horror filmmaker Josh Ruben, who directed wonderful little fright flicks like “Scare Me” and “Werewolves Within,” and has a script co-written (with Phillip Murphy) by Christopher Landen (the filmmaker behind excellent neo-slashers “Happy Death Day,” “Happy Death Day 2U,” and “Freaky,” one of the best modern slashers) and Michael Kennedy, a writer who seems to specialize in modern slashers with a hook (he wrote the body-swapping slasher “Freaky,” the Christmas slasher “It’s a Wonderful Knife,” and the recent Netflix time travel slasher “Time Cut”). 

All of this is promising. And indeed, “Heart Eyes” has a fun, funny script and some surprisingly stylish direction — Ruben has a good eye, and takes his time with his shots, even throwing in a split diopter moment for good measure. To sweeten the deal, “Heart Eyes” also has two charming, likable leads in Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding, who play a mismatched couple just trying to live through the night while a masked killer hacks and slashes their way through hordes of people. There’s a lot to love here. And yet … “Heart Eyes” ends up feeling slightly inert. I had fun with most of this flick, but by the time the third act rolled around and certain characters started rattling off seemingly endless monologues, I felt my eyes glazing over. It also doesn’t help that the film seems completely uninterested in being scary. When it comes to this horror rom-com, “Heart Eyes” is heavy on the rom-com and extremely light on the horror.

After an amusing, gory prologue, “Heart Eyes” reveals that for the past two years, a serial murderer known as the Heart Eyes Killer (or HEK for short) has terrorized couples on Valentine’s Day. The killer, who sports a cool fetish-like mask with glowing red eyes, first slaughtered folks in Boston one year, then the following year set his heart-shaped sights on Philadelphia (side-note: I screened the film in Philadelphia, and my audience hooted and hollered at the mere mention of the City of Brother Love). Now, Valentine’s Day has come along again, and no one knows where the killer might end up next. 

In Seattle, Ally (Olivia Holt) finds herself dreading Valentine’s Day, and not because of the Heart Eyes Killer. For one thing, she’s recently broken up with her boyfriend, and can’t stop looking at his frequent social media posts with his new girlfriend. For another, her job as a marketing whiz for a jewelry company is in danger after her latest ad campaign — which hilariously recreates death scenes between lovers in films — has been met with backlash. To save the company, her boss has brought in a hot shot freelancer named Jay (Mason Gooding) to set things right. Jay may be easy on the eyes and extremely charming, but Ally wants nothing to do with this guy, worried that he’s gunning for her job. So when Jay insists they have a business dinner on Valentine’s Day, Ally immediately refuses — but ends up aquessing when it seems like she has no choice.

All of this has the markings of a standard rom-com. Jay and Ally even have a funny meet-cute at a coffee shop before she finds out who he really is. And as so many enemies-to-lovers romances have taught us, it will only be a matter of time before these two crazy kids fall for each other. Of course, “Heart Eyes” throws in the added wrinkle of a serial killer, who begins stalking Jay and Ally throughout the evening, racking up a heavy body count along the way. 

The table-setting moments of “Heart Eyes” work like gangbusters, and it helps that Holt and Gooding make for a pair of charming leads. They have a wonderful back-and-forth patter and legit chemistry that goes a long way. Gooding in particular is so smooth, funny, and likable here that I left the film wanting to see him in more things, immediately (seriously, make this guy a star). The early moments where Ally and Jay get to know each other and start falling in love, only to be interrupted by Heart Eyes, are the best of the film. Indeed, even though I’m a horror guy, I have to say that the horror elements are the least interesting things about “Heart Eyes.” I found myself wishing this was just a rom-com on its own — it doesn’t really need the slasher angle. It certainly doesn’t help that the film seems to run out of steam rather quickly.

After Ally and Jay find themselves in Heart Eyes’ crosshairs, “Heart Eyes” begins to spin its wheels. You get the sense that the filmmakers didn’t think this through — they had a great set-up (a slasher rom-com) but didn’t know where to take it. As a result, the narrative begins to sag heavily. A repetitiveness sets in: Jay and Ally move to one location, get chased, watch people get killed, repeat. To liven things up, the film throws in two bumbling cop characters — the clueless Hobbs (Devon Sawa) and the lovelorn Shaw (Jordana Brewster), and yes, the film makes a flat joke about their names being Hobbs and Shaw, ya know, like the movie? (Brewster, of course, is already part of the “Fast & Furious” franchise, which adds an extra meta element to the gag, but doesn’t make it any funnier). 

This is all a bit disappointing. I was utterly charmed by the first forty or so minutes of “Heart Eyes,” and was excited that I had a new slasher pic to embrace. But after its winning set-up, the film never quite finds its footing again. There are some fun bloody kills here and there, but I kept longing for the movie to reclaim the energy of its early scenes, and it never did. Even at a short 97 minutes, “Heart Eyes” ends up feeling too long, like a short film idea stretched to feature length.

“Heart Eyes” is solid enough to entertain. The jokes land, the leads are great, and the romance storyline is surprisingly sweet — I fully believed that Jay and Ally were falling for each other, which is no easy feat (if you don’t believe me, just know there are about 100 made-for-Netflix rom-coms where the two leads have absolutely zero chemistry together). Ruben’s direction keeps everything together nicely, and the kills will likely illicit (intentional) laughs from the crowd.

And yet, by the time “Heart Eyes” reaches its finale, it all feels somewhat forgettable. I’m glad new slasher movies continue to arrive, and I give “Heart Eyes” credit for trying to mash-up rom-coms with horror. But as the film’s entirely clunky third act arrives and gives us an all-too-obvious answer about Heart Eyes’ identity, the thrill is gone. Still, as Valentine’s Day counter-programming goes, “Heart Eyes” has its charms.

/Film Rating: 6 out of 10

“Heart Eyes” opens in theaters on February 7, 2024.