James Arness Thought A Gunsmoke Parody Was In ‘Poor Taste’

When you think of the classic Western hero, you likely conjure up the image of a stoic, laconic man astride a horse. He exhibits neither joy nor sorrow; he does not laugh, nor does he cry. He is a man of few words and zero sentimentality. He probably hasn’t taken a bath in a while.

Even if you’ve only a passing interest in the genre, you’re likely thinking of John Wayne. If you prefer not to think of the Duke, you might think of Clint Eastwood. If you’ve only ever seen one Western, and that Western happens to be “The Shakiest Gun in the West,” you’re thinking of Don Knotts and are thus incapable of relating to everything I’ve just written.

If, however, you know the genre well, and had a dad and/or granddad who forced you to watch all manner of Westerns regardless of quality, you probably know the long-running CBS oater “Gunsmoke.” This means you have the stolid figure of James Arness’ U.S. Marshal Matt Dillon etched in your brain. Dillon is the epitome of the white-hat Western lawman: principled, forthright, and not a whole lot of fun. Oh sure, he keeps up a running kinda-sorta repartee with Galen “Doc” Adams (Milburn Stone), but he mostly maintains a humorless disposition as he struggles to keep the peace in Dodge City, Kansas.

The show’s success, combined with Arness’ stunning lack of range, ensured that the actor would be typecast for the rest of his career — and he did little to discourage the public’s view of him as a leathery, long-faced bummer of a human being. Take, for instance, the time another network Western decided to poke fun at “Gunsmoke.”

In a season 2 episode of ABC’s amiable Western series “Maverick,” James Garner’s charming rogue Bret Maverick finds himself up against a stone-faced U.S. Marshal named Mort Dooley (Ben Gage). Titled “Gun-Shy,” it’s a relentless, yet good-natured goof on “Gunsmoke.” There’s even a Doc character played by Marshall Kent (Dr. Downs from “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls”) who banters aimlessly with Dooley. It’s all silly and harmless, but it nevertheless riled up Arness, who, in John Peele’s book “Gunsmoke Years,” complained, “It’s poor taste and poor business for one show to rap another.”

Was Arness always this humorless? There’s a quote with sketchy attribution that claims he was capable of laughing “from his toes to the top of his head,” which apparently caused shooting delays on the set of “Gunsmoke.” Mostly, though, it appears that Arness was a private man who didn’t go in for tomfoolery. This is in direct contrast to his brother, Peter Graves, who sent up his Jim Phelps “Mission: Impossible” persona in “Airplane” as Captain Clarence Oveur. While Graves was perfect in this role, had that been Arness asking a kid if he’s ever seen a grown man naked, the nation would’ve been scandalized.