For those who decided that studio flicks like “Madame Web” or “Rebel Moon” were among the worst film of 2024, do I have some good news for you: they weren’t even close. Some brave critics, or even braver explorers of the deep trenches of 2024’s cinematic offerings may have much more dire stories for you, telling tales of Neil Marshall’s dumb actioner “The Duchess,” or Sean McNamara’s embarrassing deification of Ronald Reagan in “Reagan.” Have you even heard of the Nick Frost horror sitcom spoof “Krazy House,” or the Netflix Biblical drama “Mary”?
The above-mentioned films all have one thing in common: they were voted among the ten worst films of the year, as gauged by Metacritic. Metacritic, for those who don’t visit the website, is a film review aggregator. The site gathers together multiple professionally written reviews and boils each one down to a score of one to 100. It then calculates the average score across all its collected reviews, getting a general sense of whether or not a film was reviewed positively or negatively. Like Rotten Tomatoes, it’s hardly scientific — film opinions are not a science — but it’s a good way to get a very wide idea of how the critical community is responding to something.
When it comes to the worst-reviewed films of the year, however, one stands out below all the rest. Gino J.H. McKoy’s sci-fi thriller “Lumina” starring Eric Roberts. Metacritic’s aggregator found that “Lumina” racked up an average score of six out of 100 (based on only four reviews). Because its reviews were all deemed negative, “Lumina” also has an unenviable 0% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
“Lumina” is being offered for free from Amazon, if you sign up for a free trial. It still may not be worth the money.
What the heck is Lumina?
Not only was “Lumina” poorly reviewed, but it was made under sketchy circumstances. The filmmakers shot it in 2020, and failed to abide by COVID-19 safety protocols. SAG and other unions warned actors and other filmmakers to stay away from “Lumina.” As a result, the film was made without SAG, WGA, or DGA support.
The film wasn’t widely advertised, and opened on 200 screens in the middle of July 2024. When it bombed with only $23,000, its production company Goldove sued distributor Wild About Movies (and its CEO Timothy Nasson) for mishandling the film. The advertising budget for “Lumina” was about $4 million unto itself. The lawsuit, according to the Hollywood Reporter, alleged that “Lumina” was promised 300 screens at AMC Theaters and 500 more at Regal Cinemas. It fell short of that promise, and Goldove took Nasson to court.
“Lumina” is a sci-fi thriller about a character named Alex (Rupert Lazarus) who finds himself swept up in a romantic drama involving his girlfriend Tatiana (Eleanor Williams) and his ex Deliah (Andrea Tivada). When Tatiana is seemingly abducted by aliens, Alex, despondent, gathers Deliah, as well as his friends Patricia (Sidney Nicole Rogers) and George (Ken Lawson) to investigate her disappearance. Eric Roberts plays the conspiracy theorist who provides the film with a brief exposition dump.
According to Brian Tallerico’s zero-star review on RogerEbert.com, “Lumina” is a special kind of bad. It’s so utterly terrible, so incompetently made, so illogically told, that it deserves to be mentioned with notorious stinkers like “The Room,” or “Birdemic: Shock and Terror.” Michael Nordine, writing for Variety, was slightly more generous, saying that “Lumina” actually had honorable intentions, but that its awful script and wooden performances undermined any potential drama.
Who is Gino J.H. McKoy?
“Lumina” was a passion project from filmmaker Gino J.H. McKoy. He is credited as the director, writer, producer, and musician. Nordine’s review points out that McKoy also authored several songs on the soundtrack. This was truly the work of a mad auteur, a passionate filmmaker who will not be stymied by a lack of resources or, as the critics would describe it, a lack of talent. “Lumina” ends with an intertitle describing how many people are abducted by aliens every year, giving the film a docu-drama undercurrent that, by its descriptions, it hasn’t earned. McKoy at least had the good sense not to cast himself in the lead role.
McKoy started his career writing music, and penned a few notable FIFA World Cup and Cricket World Cup anthems in 2006 and 2007. He hails from Trinidad, and his first album, “West Indies Forever” was released in 2004. He moved into feature films in 2015, having written and directed a practically unknown movie called “Little Mizz Innocent,” starring Olga Kurylenko. According to the website SpyCulture, however, the film still hadn’t secured distribution four years later. It seems the FBI had read the script, although just to check its veracity, not because there was anything untoward afoot.
McKoy’s second feature is “Lumina,” and its status as the worst film of 2024 (according to Metacritic, anyway) may catch the eye of bad movie lovers the world over. No one wants to see a bad movie, but there is a certain breed of brave soul who loves to see the Worst Movies of All Time. It’s free on Amazon, and anyone who loves digging in the dirt may want to give it a try. Those looking for a genuinely good sci-fi film … well, the critics have warned you.
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